😴 Why Sleep Is So Hard for Autistic and ADHD Children (and What Might Actually Help)

If bedtime feels like a battle in your house, you’re not alone — not even close.

So many parents I speak to say the same thing: “I can deal with the picky eating, the meltdowns, the transitions… but the lack of sleep is breaking me.” And honestly? I get it. When your child isn’t sleeping, no one’s sleeping. The nights feel endless, and the days feel even longer.

Why Sleep Can Be So Tricky for Neurodivergent Brains

For autistic and ADHD children, it’s rarely about refusing to go to bed — there’s usually a lot more going on underneath.

Here are some of the most common reasons:

• Sensory overload: The feel of the sheets, a flickering light, a ticking clock — things that might not bother others can feel unbearable.
• Trouble switching off: ADHD brains especially struggle to “wind down.” Thoughts keep spinning, ideas pop up, and suddenly it’s midnight.
• Anxiety and overthinking: Many children replay their day in their heads or start worrying about what tomorrow might bring.
• Body clock differences: Research shows that autistic people often release melatonin (the sleep hormone) later at night — so they literally don’t feel tired when we expect them to.

How It Affects the Whole Family

When a child struggles to sleep, it impacts everyone — parents become exhausted, siblings get woken up, and the whole household starts running on empty. It’s tough emotionally, too. You start to dread bedtime before it even arrives, and sometimes that worry can make it all even harder.

Gentle Strategies That Can Help

There’s no magic fix (wouldn’t that be nice?), but some small changes can make a big difference:

• Create a predictable wind-down routine: Visual steps or calm transitions can help your child know what’s coming next.
• Build in “heavy work” before bed: Activities like pushing, pulling, or jumping help the body release energy and regulate. This is my BIGGEST strategy win with my families i work with.
• Keep the lights dim and warm: Avoid bright white light in the hour before bed — it tells the brain it’s daytime.
• Offer small choices: Let your child pick their pyjamas, blanket, or bedtime story to give them a sense of control.
• Try calming background noise: A white noise machine or soft music can help block sudden sounds and soothe the nervous system.

And if you’ve tried everything but sleep is still elusive, you’re not doing anything wrong. Sometimes, extra support like a GP review, sleep clinic, or input from an occupational therapist can really help.

What Happens as They Grow

It’s important to know that these sleep differences don’t always disappear with age. Many autistic and ADHD adults still find:

• They’re night owls who can’t fall asleep until late
• They wake up exhausted despite “sleeping enough hours”
• They’re sensitive to textures, light, or noise
• They get stuck in cycles of burnout and recovery

That’s why teaching children to listen to their bodies — and to notice what helps them feel calm and safe — can make such a difference long-term. Sleep isn’t just about rest; it’s about regulation.

When It’s Time to Ask for More Help

If lack of sleep is starting to affect your child’s mood, learning, or your own wellbeing, please don’t struggle in silence. Talk to your GP about a referral to a sleep service or occupational therapist who understands sensory needs.

And if you just need to talk it through with someone who gets it — someone who can help you untangle what’s sensory, what’s emotional, and what’s developmental — you can always book a 1:1 session with me.

👉 Book Here

You’re doing your best — and that’s more than enough. Here’s to a future with a little more sleep for everyone.