Let’s Actually Talk About the “1 in 4 Children Aren’t Potty Trained” Statistic
Over the past few months, there has been a huge amount of discussion online, in newspapers, on television, and now even on podcasts, about the claim that “1 in 4 children are starting school not potty trained.”
You’ve probably seen the headlines. You’ve probably seen the outrage. And if you are a SEND parent, you’ve probably also felt that horrible sinking feeling as the conversation slowly shifted away from concern for children and towards blame directed at parents.
Because that’s what has happened here.
The Telegraph has discussed it. The Daily Mail has discussed it. TV segments have discussed it. Podcasts are now discussing it. Social media is flooded with people repeating the statistic as though it is hard government fact. And now we are watching people confidently discuss this as evidence that modern parents are lazy, distracted, too reliant on screens, or simply “not bothering” to toilet train their children anymore.
But when you actually trace the statistic back to its original source, the situation becomes far less straightforward than the headlines suggest.
The “1 in 4” statistic primarily comes from a School Readiness Survey conducted by a charity called Kindred Squared. This was not a government study. It was not NHS clinical data. It was not a Department for Education national toileting dataset. It was a survey involving around 1,000 teachers and 1,000 parents, exploring broader concerns around “school readiness” in Reception aged children.
One of the findings from that survey was that teachers reported seeing children experiencing “frequent toilet mishaps.” That wording matters. Because somewhere between the survey itself and the media headlines, “frequent toilet mishaps” became “1 in 4 children are starting school in nappies.”
Those are not the same statement.
Not even remotely.
A child having frequent toilet mishaps could include occasional accidents, constipation issues, anxiety, autistic children, delayed development, bowel and bladder conditions, trauma, regression, communication difficulties, sensory needs, or children struggling with the enormous transition into school. But once the statistic hit newspapers and social media, all of that nuance disappeared almost instantly.
And that is where this conversation started to become harmful.
What many people also do not realise is that the survey was never solely about toileting in the first place. It was a broad school readiness survey looking at a wide range of developmental concerns teachers were seeing in Reception classrooms. The report discussed emotional regulation, speech and language development, independence skills, attention and concentration, social interaction, physical development, eating independently, fine motor skills, transitions, and even concerns around children interacting differently with books and play. As SEN parents, that all seems very much like our children doesn’t it?
But the toileting statistic was the one repeatedly pulled out and amplified because it generated the strongest emotional response.
And honestly, I think that says a lot about the way conversations around children and parenting are often handled in the media.
I want to be very clear here: I do not think Kindred Squared were irresponsible for conducting the survey. Surveys can absolutely be useful. They can identify concerns, highlight trends professionals are noticing, start important conversations, and encourage further research. There is nothing wrong with teachers saying they are noticing more children struggling with certain aspects of school readiness.
The problem starts when survey data becomes distorted into hard fact.
Because a survey is not the same thing as definitive nationwide evidence.
If I put a survey on Instagram tomorrow asking parents about sensory struggles or communication difficulties, and 1,000 people answered it, that could absolutely highlight important patterns worth discussing. But it would not suddenly become a precise national statistic proving a universal social trend. It would still be survey data. It would still need context, nuance, interpretation, and proper discussion around limitations.
Instead, what we have seen is survey findings being turned into sensational headlines and then repeated over and over again until they begin to sound like unquestionable truth.
And once that happens, the narrative changes.
The conversation stops being about children needing support and starts becoming about parents supposedly failing their children.
That is the part I find most frustrating.
Because instead of asking why more children may be struggling with school readiness, the public conversation very quickly became focused on blaming families. Suddenly the issue was framed as lazy parenting, poor discipline, too much screen time, or parents simply “not bothering” anymore.
But that framing completely ignores the wider reality many families are living in.
It ignores collapsing health visitor services and reduced early years support. It ignores years long NHS waiting lists for autism and ADHD assessments. It ignores inaccessible continence services, rising poverty, parental burnout, nursery shortages, lack of community support, and increasing numbers of children entering school with unidentified or unsupported SEND needs.
It also ignores the enormous rise in neurodivergent children sitting in mainstream classrooms without the support they require.
And that matters.
Because the people being hurt most by this conversation are SEND families.
Many SEND parents already know their children are likely included somewhere within these statistics. Autistic children, children with developmental delays, children with sensory differences, children with bowel and bladder conditions, children with trauma histories, children with communication difficulties, disabled children, anxious children, children who are still waiting for assessments or support. All of these children exist within this discussion.
And now many of those parents are opening social media and seeing comments accusing them of laziness or bad parenting.
That is incredibly damaging.
Especially when so many of these families are already exhausted from fighting systems that consistently fail them. They are attending appointments, battling for assessments, chasing support, fighting for EHCPs, managing meltdowns, continence issues, feeding difficulties, sleep deprivation, school struggles, and burnout — often with very little meaningful help.
These are not families who “do not care.”
Many are surviving despite systems that have become increasingly difficult to access.
At the same time, schools themselves are under enormous pressure. Teachers are dealing with rising levels of need in classrooms that were never designed to function as substitute health, mental health, social care, and SEND services all at once. Mainstream schools are increasingly expected to support children with highly complex needs while specialist provision remains under huge strain nationally.
So yes, schools need support. But we also need honesty about what this statistic actually is.
This is not a hard national government statistic proving a parenting crisis. It is survey data being interpreted, simplified, and amplified through media narratives. And once those narratives take hold, nuance disappears. Disabled children become “badly behaved.” Delayed children become “lazy.” Parents become the problem. And systemic failures quietly fade into the background.
That helps nobody.
Not schools. Not parents. And certainly not children.
If you would like to read the original survey yourself and make your own conclusions, you can find it here:
https://kindredsquared.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/School-Readiness-Survey-January-2026-Kindred-Squared.pdf
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