Regulation, learning and Joy - Why understanding stims can be life changing

Understanding Your Child’s Stimming: Regulation, Joy, and Learning

Stimming (self-stimulatory behaviour) is when a child repeats movements, sounds, or actions. It’s often misunderstood as “problematic,” but stimming can serve multiple positive purposes, even when your child looks happy and engaged.

1. Stimming for Regulation

• Purpose: Helps the child calm down, manage stress, or cope with overwhelming sensory input.
• Examples: Hand-flapping when anxious, rocking when tired, chewing on a toy when frustrated.
• Parent Tip: Support this by allowing the movement in safe ways, providing sensory breaks, or joining in to model calmness.

2. Stimming for Joy / Sensory Pleasure

• Purpose: The child experiences pleasure and excitement from sensory input.
• Examples:
  
  • Twirling a toy in front of their eyes.
  • Spinning in circles just for fun.
  • Making repetitive sounds or giggling while doing it.
• Parent Tip: Celebrate this! Narrate what’s happening (“Look, it spins so fast!”) to add language exposure while keeping the joyful moment.

3. Stimming for Learning / Exploration

• Purpose: Helps the child explore cause-and-effect, motor skills, or visual-spatial relationships.
• Examples:
  
  • Moving trains or cars to see the effect of motion.
  • Stacking blocks to test balance.
  • Repeating a pattern to understand sequencing
• Parent Tip: Observe and extend the learning: add variations, encourage naming objects, or ask simple questions to expand thinking (“What happens if we tip this?”).

People often say to me “my child was so dysregulated today. She was stimming constantly.” But when we get deeper into it, there was not one stim which was dysregulation.

So, Why does “more stimming” not always equal dysregulation?

A child may stim more than usual even when they are calm and happy because:

1. They’re fully engaged in a preferred activity
   
   • Example: A child spins a toy repeatedly while smiling, showing intense focus and enjoyment.
2. They’re learning or experimenting
   
   • Example: Moving blocks repeatedly to see how they fall or stack — this is curiosity and learning, not distress.
3. They’re expressing joy or excitement
   
   • Example: Humming, spinning, or moving objects rapidly when elated. Increased stimming can reflect positive arousal, not negative.
4. Routine or habit reinforcement
   
   • Children may stim more when engaging with familiar routines or objects because it feels rewarding and predictable.
5. They are an expert self regulator 
   • What’s happening: The child may be in a new environment with more sights, sounds, or activity than usual.
   • Why they stim: They are using already-learned strategies to stay comfortable and engaged
   • Key point: This doesn’t mean they’ve “tipped into dysregulation.” They’re simply adjusting to the new surroundings in a way that works for them.

Key Takeaways

• Stimming is not always a coping strategy—it can be joyful, exploratory, or both.
• Watch for context: your child’s mood and engagement can tell you why they are stimming.
• Support stimming safely and positively—it’s a window into your child’s sensory world, emotions, and learning.

Grab my Guide to Sensory at Home here 👉🏻 Useful links ✨